For Team Six: if you each had three magic wishes, what would you wish for?
Kakashi: An end to these questions. But assuming I’ll have to deal with the rest of the team if I don’t play along:
1) That the tailed beasts had never existed.
2) Sakumo had bent instead of broken.
3) The third war had been headed off before it started.
Raidou: Blanket wish fulfillment, huh? I suppose we’re not allowed to wish for more wishes…
1) That I was better at genjutsu. Right now it’s a weakness I can’t do anything about, and it makes me itch.
2) That Katsuko had never been taken when she was a kid. Don’t get me wrong, I love her as she is, but I think she’d just be… happier. And she wouldn’t have to struggle with her chakra, or her nightmares.
3) World peace? Yeah, I know that makes me sound like a beauty queen, but it’d sure make my job easier, and get a lot less of my friends killed.
Ryouma: I know people sometimes say things like “I wouldn’t change anything about my past, it’s made me who I am today,” but screw that. My past sucked. If magic wishes do change events that have already happened, I’d wish both my parents still alive. Failing that, I’d wish Konoha put me in the War Orphans Home instead.
And if magic wishes can’t change the past, that’s some dumb kind of magic you’ve got going on. In which case I want a portable latte machine for missions, magic uniform that never gets torn or dirty—no, that’s too practical. Let’s go for an actual island made of pie floating in a coffee river with little biscotti fish. And, uh, Shuriken Force to throw a surprise concert for my next birthday.
Genma: Whoever is setting these questions is really in love with impossible hypotheticals. I’m tempted to make one of my wishes that the sex pollen thing was real.
I could wish for peace, but I think I’d be out of a job if the world was peaceful, so…
I know, I wish the Fox had never existed. Can I wish all demons out of existence? I wish there were no demons. Not the fox, not those scorpion things we fought on our last mission, not any of the other tailed beasts, if they still exist. None of them. There’s enough evil in the world without us needing demons, too.
Let’s see, what else? It’d be cool to be able to read minds. Not all the time, though, you wouldn’t want to just constantly hear everyone’s thoughts. It would have to be something you can turn on and off, like the Byakugan or the Sharingan. I want to be able to look at Kakashi and know what the hell is going on inside his head, even though it’s probably something like, “I hate everyone except Minato-sensei.”
And… I wish my mom had come back from her mission. I don’t really miss her, because I was too young when she died to really remember her, but my dad—he misses her all the time. If she were here, I wouldn’t have to worry about him.
Katsuko: Wow. I have way too many serious wishes to limit them all to just three. Let’s go with nice, shallow, surface-level wishes.
One, I want to be taller. I’m 5’7” right now, which is tall for a woman, but when you’re on a team with four tree-sized men it’s kind of hard to remember. (Seriously, Ryouma. Seriously.)
Two, I want to be able to eat more. Most of my pay is spent on food and I’m still hungry. Always hungry. It’s like I have a tapeworm, or… a chakra system that’s so oversized I basically need to eat for three people to get enough energy for one. But my chakra is one of the serious wishes, and food is great, so.
Three, I want a place where everything can be quiet in my head for once. Like a zen garden. I meditate a lot, but sometimes it’s just so much work keeping everything in balance—
Woah, wait. Whoops. That turned into a serious wish. Sorry.
How about this? I’d like a pet. A cat, preferably. Cats can take care of themselves and they don’t care about being little bastards, and it’s nice petting them. I can’t get one right now, I’m barely home enough as it is. Still, it’d be nice.